


vindicated

by ktfrancis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drarry, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Post-War, Werewolf, Werewolf Draco Malfoy, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27577780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktfrancis/pseuds/ktfrancis
Summary: draco knew he shouldn't like it, knew he didn't deserve it, but that didn't keep him from going back for more each time.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. one

draco didn't know how he got there, or why he even agreed to come, but he did know that we wasn't prepared for the scrutiny he was bound to face. he also knew what hewas going to do: keep his head low, only speak when spoken to, and never, under any circumstances, show his wand to anyone. he supposes it was out of his control, what happened, but he was old enough to know it wasn't okay. old enough to say no. old enough to turn his back on his family, to save himself and leave what he knew behind, but no, he was a coward. he blindly followed his father, the fear of losing him keeping him from seeing the option of leaving him. he killed, he cursed, and worst of all, he betrayed his own beliefs. it was over now though, his dark mark replaced with a muggle tattoo of flowers, creating the start of a sleeve on his forearm.

the boy, 6'4, lean, chin length platinum hair, and a fitted black suit was alone. he stood, by himself, on the platform. _i don't deserve to go_ he thought to himself. _i don't deserve the second chance_ he tore himself down. _i don't deserve forgiveness_ he wagered. a sigh, full of desperation, but lacking hope forced its way out of the boy's mouth as he concluded that perhaps this was a way to gain an undeserving trust.

hours later, draco sat in a compartment on his way to the school he had called home for six years, alone. he could hear the laughter of the first years, the hushed whispers of the fifth and sixth and seventh years who had fought along side harry potter in the battle just a few months ago. draco didn't know whether or not to expect the boy to come back, but the whispers of "harry! harry!" and "he's come?" rang loudly in draco's ears and he found himself wanting to jump off the train. how could he face harry? after what he'd done?

"first years! first years! this way!" the loud, oafish voice of hagrid made draco's ears bleed as he stepped off the train and made his way to his luggae. his luggage was the silver of his eyes with a large, green M on top of it. seeing the m, the reminder that he was a malfoy, made him gag. breaking his third rule, draco took out his wand, aware of the looks he was receiving, and whispered evanesco the m disappearing, turning into a green dragon. a reminder, now, that he is draco and he will reclaim the malfoy name and destroy everything that follows in its wake.

draco sat alone at the end of the slytherin table, only three others had come back: theodore nott, who draco knew but wasn't sure he wanted to befriend; blaise zabini, who draco was friends with but hadn't talked to in the months since the battle; and daphne greengrass, who he was supposed to marry, but was set on not following through with that. they were hunched together, outcasts sure to be denied by other 8th years, looking at draco, expecting him to join. "scared of us, malfoy?" zabini teased. draco kept his head low, but did feel as smile threaten to creep on his face.

a loud, familiar voice rang from the front of the dining hall, "welcome back to hogwarts! many volunteers spent the summer returning this ancient castle back to it's glory, i trust you will treat it with care. you have all had a rough year, but we are now, more than ever, determined to make hogwarts home.

before then, we must set some ground rules. as usual, the forbidden forest is off limits to all students, with the exception of eighth years. secondly, anyone who is caught in the corridors after lights out will immediately lose fifty points for their house and receive a months worth of detention with hagrid. third, eighth years are allowed to leave the castle grounds at any time between classes; however, if you leave someone must know where you are. classes will go on as they did while dumbledore was here, and dormitories remain the same; however, eighth years, a new section of the castle has been built specifically for you. you have your own common room and dormitories: girls with girls and boys with boys. we hope that in putting you guys together, we will be able to move forward. that being said: let the festivities begin!" finished McGonagall and draco felt his heart drop. sharing a dormitory with mainly gryffindors? while he deserved it, he wasn't ready for the hatred that was awaiting him in his dorm.

as the hall grew louder and louder, draco tried drowning out the noise by looking around to see who had returned. from the gryffindors: harry, who draco was not surprised to see at all—along with his faithful sidekicks; dean thomas, who draco couldn't care less about; pavarati patil, who draco was surprised to see, thinking the death of lavender would hold her back; and neville longbottom. draco wasnt sure why, but seeing neville brough a joy in dracos chest, but also a defeating sense of regret. only two hufflepuffs—both girls, so draco wasnt concerned about any time spent with them, and the other patil sister for ravenclaw. unsurprised that most eighth years were gryffindors, draco felt the fear rising in his chest.

draco spent the rest of dinner with his head low, not eating. he wasn't even aware of when everyone got up, or which direction McGonagall took the eighth years to their common room, or what the password to get in was. everything was a blur, his head pounding and his chest aching with anxiety.

"what in godrics name do you think you're doing here, malfoy" weasley spit out, a malicious tone at the name. draco felt hands on his shoulders as they pushed him down. draco didn't fight back, knew he couldn't. he deserved this and he was willing to let it come. "pathetic, cant even fight back" and then weasley and the rest of the gryffindors were walking towards what draco assumed to be the dorms.

"well what are you looking at? go on" blaise yelled at everyone else, and they listened—leaving the boys alone. blaise knelt down to dracos level, offering a hand. draco stared, wondering what this meant. could he have a friend? he certainly didn't deserve one, but he knew if he wasn't to survive this year, he better accept whatever kindness came to him.

"thank you" draco barely whispered, his voice cracking at the end. it was then he had a chance to fully take in the common room. it was brilliant: windows overlooking the forbidden forrest; quilted curtains with patches of green, red, yellow, and blue hanging around them; three black couches in the middle with a rug representing the colors of the four houses in the same patched pattern of the curtains in the middle of them and a neat wooden table on top— a fireplace adjacent; in one corner, red and yellow tables with similar chairs resided, and in the adjacent corner, blue and green tables similar. the ceiling resembling the sistine chapel. it was breathtaking. draco never thought the four houses could mesh so beautifully, but they did and it left a contentment in his chest.

"don't fret it. you need a friend, draco. let me be here. i know what you did, and i know that it was your only option unless you wanted death cast upon you and your family. you aren't a bad person, you're just a boy, forced to make the wrong decisions. let me help you," blaise was pleading, and draco knew he meant it, and while he didn't think he deserved it, he welcomed it.

"don't go soft on me, zabini" draco responded, and for the first time in two years, draco malfoy smiled. this year would be hard, and he had a lot of proving ahead of him, but at least he had one person who was willing to give him a chance and that was all he could have asked for.


	2. two

with only 13 eighth years, draco's classes were relatively small. when taking newts into account, that made classes even smaller. they contemplated putting seventh and eighth years together, but ultimately decided against it as they wanted to continue giving eighth years the chance to look forward and move on from the past that destroyed their seventh year. 

draco, who if granted the admittedly low chance, was taking the classes that would allow him to become a healer. he had never put much thought into what he wanted to be, thinking that the world would have been taken over by the dark lord, but he wanted the opportunity to erase what he had done. to clear the malfoy name and restore a new meaning to it. becoming a healer, saving the people who he had once been taught to fight against, would help him do that. unfortunately, potter and his disgusting red-headed friend needed similar classes to become aurors. draco found himself sitting in potions, defence against the dark arts, transfigurations, and charms with the savior and his trustee sidekick. to make matters worse, granger seemed to be pursuing the same career as draco himself and shared most, if not all, of his classes with her. 

not only did draco find himself in the same classes as ms. granger, but he had been forced beside her in potions and charms alike. they didn't have to talk much in charms, nor was draco even aware of her presence outside of her arm rapidly shooting up to answer a question, but potions was a different story. they shared a book, the table, ingredients, and dear salazar was it horrible. 

"move it, draco, i need to get to the dragon claw," hermione huffed out, exasperated. his name rolled off her tongue naturally, taking him back. had she just called him draco? where was the sneer of malfoy? 

"draco," he responded stupidly. it was the first word he had said to anyone who wasn't blaise and the sound of his voice caught him off guard. he sounded younger, like the small boy who had just wanted to be friends with famous harry potter. he sounded vulnerable, like he couldn't believe that he had deserved first name basis with hermione granger. 

hermione rolled her eyes, "will that's your name isn't it? i don't suppose you've changed it? now move," hermione pushed passed him and draco couldn't help but smile. he forced it down though as he remembered that she was harry potter's best friend, she helped defeat the dark lord, she was the very same person who he had ridiculed and called "mudblood" for years. he didn't deserve to be called by his first name by her. he didn't deserve the teasing tone in which she responded to him. her kindness was unwarranted. 

hermione came back with a jar of dragon claws, "i got enough for you as well, i don't suppose you've made it that far into the potion though." 

"what's that supposed to mean, granger" draco's response took him back, his old sneer poking through, but this time it was gentler, the way you would playfully argue back and forth with an old friend. 

hermione's soft laugh rang and the rest of the class looked back at them. hermione didn't seem to notice, but draco was very aware of harry and his freckled friend giving hermione a condescending look as if to say: _how dare you fraternize with the enemy?_

"draco it means you've been working on this potion longer than ginny's been in love with harry," hermione said, and her tone was neutral, but draco couldn't help but feel like her kindness was a deserving trap. was she going to become friends with him so that she could lead him to the astronomy tower just to push him off? he would deserve it, no doubt, but he didn't necessarily want it. 

"are the weaslette and potter still going steady?" draco didn't know why that was the question that escaped from him, but he found himself truly curious. 

"one: if you ever want to redeem yourself, malfoy, and your muggle tattoo suggests you do--" draco gave her a look, he didn't think anybody noticed the tattoo "--yes, draco, i noticed your tattoo. just because tweedle dee and tweedle dum over there haven't, doesn't mean i haven't as well. anyways, if you want to redeem yourself, start calling people by their names. two: no, they decided that harry needed time to process everything that's happened to him and he just wasn't ready to commit himself to someone else. not that it's any of your business." hermione, who had been stirring her potion the entire time, huffed as she concluded her rant. unfortunately, she had been so distracted by putting draco in his place, that she had been stirring the wrong way. her potion was boiling over and her hair was static as she rushed to settle the potion. in a hurry, draco cast a cleaning charm and the bubbles found their way back into the cauldron and the table cleared. "thanks," she muttered, embarrassed. 

"of course, hermione, but next time, focus more on the potion not on me," he said and gave her a taunting wink. he smirked at the blush that coated her cheeks and went to put his cauldron away. draco knew he could never like granger in any manner--whether it was romantic or platonic-- but she was right, if he wanted to start making up for his past, he needed to start being kinder. he needed to make himself appear friendly and new. he expected nothing but rejection, which was warranted, but he needed to show that he was trying. 

"draco?" hermione called, an expectant look on her face. 

"yes?"

"thank you," and draco knew that perhaps he could receive forgiveness, certainly not friendship, which he wasn't sure he wanted anyways, but maybe, just maybe, people would be able to look passed his wrong doings. draco nodded and smiled, put his cauldron away, and walked out of the potions classroom feeling four times better than he had three weeks ago at the start of term. 

\---------

draco and blaise were sitting on the green covered chairs in the far left corner of the common room when the painting swung open and revealed three very loud, very annoying gryffindors. blaise looked up to see harry, ron, and hermione covered in dirt. noticing his stare, they quickly quieted, the two boys rushing off towards the showers to rinse off. hermione stayed back, however. 

"blaise, draco, what are you working on?" blaise eyed her suspiciously and draco looked up at her question. she looked toward him, nodded, as if reassuring him that their earlier interaction was the beginning of a new chance for draco. 

"just the charms essay. bloody long it is, fourteen inches of parchment," draco said and out of the corner of his eye, he could see blaise snap his head in surprise at their civility. 

"oh, i got that done ages ago," hermione responded and draco had to suppress an eyeroll. as if knowing what he was struggling to do, hermione smiled at him. "well, i must go shower, but draco care to meet me down here in twenty minutes?" 

draco nodded, confused. was this where she was going to get him? in the common room? his trust fully given to her? was this where he was going to be sent back to the malfoy manor to live alone for the rest of his life? never knowing what was going on in the rest of the world? "what was that all about?" blaise's question brought draco out of his reverie. 

"i don't know. reckon she's trying to kill me?" draco tried passing it off as a joke, but the small quiver in his voice told blaise that he still believed that he might deserve it. 

"no, draco, i don't think she's trying to kill you. if it wasn't for potter's red-headed beast of a sidekick, i'd assume that she was trying to get it on with you," blaise joked and draco had to suppress a gag at the thought. it wasn't that granger was an unattractive person, but the thought of being with someone whom he had so much unpleasant history sent a chill down his spine and a nauseous feeling in his throat. he could never deserve her love to that extent, he barely even deserved the kindness that was shown to him today. "well, i better get going. i'm meeting someone in hogsmeade. later, dray," blaise patted his shoulder. now draco had another thing to wonder about: _who in the world was blaise meeting in hogsmeade?_

five minutes later, a clean hermione granger was walking down the stairs that lead to the dormitories. draco, who had moved from the table to lay on the couch, his long legs dangling off the arm, looked up and quickly moved to set his feet on the floor, giving her space to sit next to him. he was still confused as to why she had asked to talk to him, but he wasn't going to turn her away. as she came to sit by him, he could smell her caramel apple scented shampoo and her coconut body wash. 

"you wanted to talk?" he asked, not daring to look her in the eyes. he was still worried about what she was trying to accomplish. 

"yes, i want to help you, draco. i know what happened wasn't entirely your fault--" 

draco cut her off, he didn't need this, not from her, he didn't want her acceptance. he didn't _deserve_ her acceptance. he had been nothing but horrible to her, "you know nothing about me, granger. those choices were mine to make and i made them. i was convinced that what i was doing was right. i know you live in this perfect little world where everyone is good,but wake up-- some people aren't. i'm not good and the sooner you learn that, the sooner you save yourself from hurt. i appreciate hermione, but you do not know me at all." he finished, he was standing up now, his finger pointed down at her and he felt immediate regret at the look of fear in her eyes. 

"maybe you're right, malfoy. maybe you are evil, maybe you don't deserve forgiveness, but goddamnit draco, you better start forgiving yourself or you might as well not even be here," she was yelling, and though standing a foot shorter than him, she was yelling in his face, her finger perfectly inline with his nose. 

it was the sound of footsteps rushing down the stairs that caused them to jump apart, creating a distance. draco was sure they looked suspicious as weasley and potter made their way down the stairs. "we heard yelling, is everything okay?" weasley rushed to hermione's side. 

"yes, i was just telling draco that he didn't deserve a spot here in this school," hermione said and walked up the stairs, hand in hand with weasley. draco huffed and rubbed a hand over the top of his head, laying back down on the couch, closing his eyes. 

"move it, malfoy," draco heard potter say, and he sighed, flinging his feet to the floor so that he was sitting right side up. "now what was she actually saying," potter pried, of course nosy harry potter had to know what they were talking--or rather yelling-- about. 

"what makes you think i'd tell you, potter? why must you stick your wand in everyone's business?" draco sneered, he wasn't in the mood to be polite or to redeem himself, especially not in front of the savior. 

"i just know that what hermione says-- she doesn't believe. she's been trying to convince us to forgive you for two weeks now. of course we say no, why would we forgive you? her of all people shouldn't, but for whatever reason, she trusts you," potter responds and it takes everything in draco to not plunge himself into harry's arms and tell him to thank her for him. 

"maybe i don't deserve what she says," he whispers, looking down and refusing to meet the emerald eyes that he knows are staring back at him. 

"maybe you don't get to decide what you deserve," and draco looks up at potter, surprise looming his face. with that, potter stands and leaves draco alone with his thoughts: _what the hell did potter mean by that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided last night that one: i wanted to do this in short chapters with quicker updates sooo
> 
> ALSO i'm also publishing this on wattpad @ktfrancis16 if you want to read it there
> 
> ALSO ALSO this isn't edited yet so sorry for any typos 
> 
> kk bye.


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unedited and also written late at night so sorry for any typos you may come across :)

draco had thought a lot about what potter had said and he came to one conclusion: _stupid harry potter was holding onto his stupid savior complex._ draco wasn't going to fall victim to that nope, nope, nope. he didn't need potter's saving and he certainly didn't want to owe him anything more. 

as draco lay in his bed, green curtains firmly closed, he was faced with intrusive thoughts of his trails just this summer: 

_the air was hot, hotter than ever, or perhaps it was dracos nerves clashing with his black robes. he kept his head low as he walked through the lobby of the ministry, hushed whispers filling his mind: "that's the malfoy boy, voldemort got him too young" and "shame, poor boy is just 17, too bad he got wrapped up too young." it was always about draco being 'too young.' draco was capable of making his own decisions and he made the wrong ones-- he was a coward and he didn't want anybodies pity. in fact, draco felt the urge to crucio every single person who thought they knew him._

_the elevator, though only containing himself, his father, his mother, and the liftman, felt as though it was getting smaller and smaller and smaller as it brought him quickly to what he assumed would be his last few moments of freedom. his father, who had been uptight and harsh all day, looked at draco, sighed as if he had something to say and then turned to face forward. draco, who noticed all of his fathers mannerisms, turned to lucius with a raised brow as if to say, "spit it out, father."_

_lucius, who was just as aware of his son's mannerisms as he was his, sighed once more and turned to face draco: "whatever happens today, son, you're still my boy. whether we're stuck in adjacent azkaban cells or you're out living free." draco scoffed at this and didn't say a word back._

_if he was 'his boy,' wouldn't he have tried harder to convince the dark lord that draco didn't need to join the cause? draco was fully aware that it was his own decision, that he could have shamed the malfoy name and left the manor leaving his father probably to die at the hands of the dark lord, but there was still this nagging feeling in the back of his mind saying "but you **are** just a boy, the people aren't wrong when they say that, and you really didn't have a choice. you may have wrongfully believed your family's beliefs, but you never thought to kill or harm anyone." _

_dismissing these thoughts, draco went over what he was supposed to claim in the trial. the malfoy's knew that no one would believe that they were under the imperius curse, so they all devised individual statements. his father, who they knew was a lost cause, would claim that voldemort had threatened to kill his entire family, that voldemort had him under imperio during the first war and that he was now bound to unbreakable vows that he didn't remember making. narcissa, would claim the same, saying that she was doing it for her boy. draco, who had the best chance of leaving today and going home, was going to claim that voldemort was going to kill him, that voldemort was using him to get back at lucius for not doing his bidding, that voldemort took advantage of the fact that he was not yet of age when he took the mark and was going to be helpless if he didn't._

_they were now walking through the corridor, that seemed to extend with every step they took making them further and further away from the courtroom. once they arrived, the big, brass doors seemed to swallow draco as they were opened by kingsley schacklebolt. draco's heart began to race and he could feel his breath quickening as he tried to keep his composure. lucius, who know doubt could hear him struggling, turned to give him a look as if to say, "keep it together, draco."_

_the room was big, seating over fifty members of the wizengamot all looming over an accusation chair that sat in the middle of the room. directly to the front and 15 degrees above sat the judges podium. draco looked around the room, surveilling all of the faces. he only saw three that he recognized and they were all faces he knew weren't going to give his defense the time of day, why would they? he had been cruel to them for seven years. he didn't deserve for them to save him from surely a life in azkaban._

_lucius was to go first, there was no doubt in everyone's mind that he deserved nothing but the worst. his trial, draco gulped at the thought, would be the quickest and easiest. "lucius malfoy," called the chief warlock, "you may take your spot in the chair." accompanied by kingsley, who had a firm grip on lucius, he slowly made his way to the chair, sitting willingly. as precaution, charmed ropes flew out from under the chair and held lucius' hands in place, ensuring that he could do no harm._

_"lucius malfoy, you have been charged with: multiple accounts of using the killing curse, working alongside tom riddle, resulting in treason, performing magic in front of muggles, multiple usages of illegal dark magic, and torture. to what do you contravene?"_

_draco swallowed harshly, spit rising in his throat, his father was taking too long to answer. "if you will, i was under the imperius curse--"_

_at this, cries of outrage and disbelief broke out._

_"--the first time i acted for mr. riddle. the first time, i unwillingly performed an unbreakable vow. seeing as voldemort was not actually dead, i was held to those at the time of his return. i had nothing else to do but obey his commands. i was going to die had i not and he was going to kill my family. my boy, only 14 at the time of his return, was going to face death. i had to do what i could to save my family."_

_"is it not possible, mr. malfoy, to have simply pretended to follow him without actually following through with his wishes? we saw severus snape do that, why couldn't you?"_

_at this, draco was stunned. he had no clue what his father could respond to that. "severus never had a family to worry about and his life was about as valuable as a pygmys."_

_"finally, do we have anybody who wants to speak on behalf of mr. malfoy or perhaps against? mr. potter?" the warlock looked around._

_harry potter stood and draco automatically found his gaze meeting his, he flushed, embarrassed, and looked down as harry turned his gaze to the warlock. "lucius malfoy has never once shown kindness. has never once shown that he didn't believe in voldemort's cause. even in my second year, two years before voldemort's return, he was scheming. he was the one who gave ginny weasley tom riddle's diary. when i was in the graveyard, at the end of the triwizard tournament, he was there. lucius malfoy does not deserve redemption," harry sat and draco could feel the anger in his chest rise. of course potter wasn't wrong, and even some parts of draco agreed with him, but that was still his father and potter wasn't showing any compassion. draco wanted to yell, to hit, to use potter as a punching bag._

_the chief warlock considered for a second: "all in favor of life in azkaban and mr. malfoy's wand being snapped?" all hands raised. "if you have any alternatives, speak now." a pregnant pause. "no? say goodbye to your family, mr. malfoy because this is the last time you'll see them. draco couldn't even look at his father as he walked away, no attempt to say goodbye. draco could feel the tears coming and he didn't know if it was relief or anger to despair, but he did know lucius malfoy was out of his life for good._

_"narcissa malfoy, to the chair." it was short and curt, draco had a feeling this would be harder._

_cooperating with shacklebolt, narcissa sat in the chair, bracing for the ropes. "mrs. malfoy, you are being charged with:_ _multiple accounts of using the killing curse, working alongside tom riddle, resulting in treason, performing magic in front of muggles, multiple usages of illegal dark magic, and torture. to what do you contravene?"_

_"my son, it was all for my son. he was only a boy and i was scared for his life--and mine. my husband had thrown me into this world of obeying voldemort and i didn't know any escape. like lucius, i was under imperio the first time and saw no way out the second time. i never once believed in the cause, and never did i want to kill a single soul. i was forced."_

_"mrs. malfoy, i'll say the same to you that i--"_

_the chief warlock was stopped by a voice draco was not expecting to speak up, "sir, in the forbidden forest, when voldemort had tried to kill me, it was narcissa who saved me, who lied to voldemort asking and pleading for her son to be alive. again, i found myself being saved by a mother's love. a life in azkaban is not what she deserves. thank you," harry potter had attested for his mother and by the looks on everyone's faces, draco was not alone in his feelings of shock. draco felt a swelling in his chest. maybe he would get to keep his mother. all thanks to harry potter._

_considering this, the chief warlock, who had originally called for the same punishment as lucius, was now finding himself in a place where he had to think of something else and confirm it, "five minute recess. we will resume with mrs. malfoy's new punishment." the room cleared and draco rushed to his mother._

_"the potter boy, what a saint," narcissa cried into draco's shoulder as he hugged her and whispered 'i love you' over and over again into his mother's ears._

_five minutes passed in five seconds and draco found himself at the back of the room again, anxiously waiting to hear his mother's punishment. he was dripped in sweat and the gel charm that he cast on his hair was slipping, strands of hair landing in front of his face. a throat cleared, returning everyone's attention to the front, "all in favor of ten years probation where mrs. malfoy may not leave the country and will be given a tracker on her wand. as well as immediate life in azkaban should she perform any spells outside of the standard day-to-day spells?" all hands raise and it was set: narcissa malfoy would be going home. draco felt a weight leave his shoulders and he could breathe again. his mother would be free, and now maybe even draco would be as well, all thanks to harry potter. this thought made draco frown. how much did he owe potter. for his father? the room of requirement? his mother?_

_"last, but certainly not least, draco malfoy," kingsley gripped draco's arm and dragged him to the accusation chair. the feeling of everyone's eyes on him made draco want to run home and never leave his room again. he could feel the shame and disappointment radiating off of everyone._

_"mr. malfoy, you are being tried as an adult under the charges of:_ _working alongside tom riddle, resulting in treason, multiple usages of illegal dark magic, and torture. to what do you contravene?" draco's list was shorter, something he didn't realise would happen, and it made him see a glimmer of hope._

_"when i was initiated into voldemort's inner circle, i was 16. i was not yet a legal adult. i was still property of my parents, who were actively supporters and even friends of his. i knew that if i didn't comply, i was to be killed alongside my mother and father. i knew that i was being used as a punishment to my father not giving into all of his commands. i knew that, no matter what i did, stay or leave, the result would be death. or that's what i assumed. no one would take me in. i was a **malfoy** i was evil, but really i was just a child. there were many times when my father would come into my room and plead with me to simply obey voldemort's demands. i was trapped, but never did i kill or torture. yes, i worked alongside voldemort, but i never completely followed through with what was expected of me." draco looked up at harry, for what reason he couldn't tell you, and harry locked eyes with him for the second time that afternoon. harry knew what draco was referring to, knew that draco could never kill albus dumbledore. _

_"finally, do we have anybody who wants to speak on behalf of mr. malfoy or perhaps against? mr. potter?" the warlock looked around._

_harry stood, draco was nervous. was he going to talk about how draco had been a bully? how he had used foul language towards his friends? "draco has always been mean and cruel and horrible, but never once have i seen any true acts of evil from him. rude and vile things? yes, but never true evil. whenever i was kidnapped and forced into the malfoy manor, i had been stung with a spell and you couldn't clearly see my face, draco was called to confirm it was me, but he lied to his family. took that chance, put himself in danger to save me. told them he couldn't tell that it was me, but i knew he could. in sixth year, when he was required to kill dumbledore, he couldn't. he could barely raise his arm at the headmaster. draco is a lot of things, but first he's a boy who could do nothing but make the wrong choices." draco felt tears rising and a heavy feeling in his chest. did potter mean that? was potter saving him yet again?_

_a pause. another pause. what felt like fifteen more pauses after that. draco could feel his leg shaking and his finger fidgeting. was this his last moments before being carted off to azkaban? would he be able to return to hogwarts for his last year? would he be able to redeem himself? "all in favor of mr. draco malfoy receiving two years probation where he may only go to ministry approved places such as hogwarts and his manor, may only cast hogwarts approved spells, and will face an immediate five years in azkaban should be not comply?" all hands raised and draco felt the tears finally pour out over the brims of his eyes. he was going to be free, or as close to free as he could get._

_that evening, draco and narcissa went home and it was all thanks to harry potter._

\-----

it took draco ages to fall asleep after reliving that day. a sequence of potter saving him in the room of requirement and in his trials followed him into his dreams, and when he woke up, he was faced with yet another day of not being able to make it up to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii this chapter didn't really progress the story, but i thought it important to include this so there was more understanding of how draco was let off, why he could go to hogwarts and use his wand, and one of the reasons he didn't feel like he deserved the kindness he may receive from the trio: harry fucking potter saving him once again. 
> 
> -kt
> 
> extra: idk why it moved my chapter one notes to chapter three. whateva there's a reason i never upload on here lolz.


	4. four

a month and a half into the term and things were, well,  _ weird _ .  _ hogwarts weird.  _ draco found himself frequently having conversations with hermione granger, blaise was sneaking off to meet someone at least twice a week, and harry potter kept staring at him from across the great hall. 

things got worse for draco towards the end of october. it was a normal day in potions, he was arguing with granger about whether or not they should be stirring clockwise or counterclockwise, “draco! the book say counterclockwise, so stir counterclockwise honestly! aren’t you supposed to be the brightest wizard of your age!” 

draco smirked, knowing he was getting under her skin. he was still keeping a low profile: keeping his head down as he walked, never talking in class, and keeping his amount of friends to two-- blaise and granger. he didn’t want to be friends with hermione, but her persistence made him give in simply to get her to leave him alone; however that may be, draco surprisingly did enjoy having her around. she  _ was _ the only other person in the school who met his level of wit, and she could hold a wonderful debate about whether potions or transfigurations was more useful. “brightest wizard, huh? i thought that was supposed to be you, granger,” draco said with a sneer, but he had found that his sneers were more teasing rather than malicious, recently.  _ weird.  _

“I said  _ wizard _ , malfoy, not  _ witch.  _ i’m beginning to think that maybe ron has taken your place,” hermione responded with a smirk that was just as daunting as draco’s. draco found himself pleasantly surprised with hermione. her wit and humour matched his very well and they were quite compatible. if draco weren’t into...well, that was something draco pushed to the back of his mind to ignore until he know longer couldn’t. 

“not the weasel, granger! how dare you!” draco retorted, lightly slapping her arm. hermione laughed and slapped him right back.

“well, whatever, stir counterclockwise, malfoy,” she said pointedly, turning back to the potion. 

“granger, everyone knows that stirring dragon blood counterclockwise causes it to overheat honestly! aren’t you supposed to be the brightest witch of your age,” draco said, in a voice that was supposed to sound as though it was hermione herself. 

suddenly, slughorn, who had returned to teach the ‘golden trio,’ came over, seemingly thinking that draco was causing hermione distress. slughorn was  _ not  _ shy about hiding his dislike for draco, though draco expected it and honestly didn’t mind as he disliked not only himself, but the overweight professor as well. “what seems to be the problem?” 

“draco says we should stir clockwise, but the directions say counterclockwise,” hermione said, in a ‘matter-of-fact’ tone that reminded draco why he never liked her in the first place. 

“well, do as the book says, i’m not sure mr. malfoy knows more than it,” slughorn responded and the condescending tone in his voice bothered draco more than what he was actually saying. draco supposed he deserved the hate, but that didn’t mean a teacher, someone who was supposed to keep an unbiased classroom, should treat him as lesser. 

hermione, taking that as her go to stir the potion, grabbed the cauldron and stirred forty times counterclockwise as the directions suggested. within seconds, the potion started smoking and bubbling over, which was not supposed to happen. “well, i suppose mr. malfoy may have been right,” slughorn said grudgingly, turning to tell the class to stir counterclockwise and ignore the directions. the book was outdated, he supposed. 

draco turned to hermione and smirked without a word, but his eyebrows clearly stated: “that’s what i though, ms. granger.” hermione simply rolled her eyes and began cleaning up their table. 

after class, draco, who had began walking around the grounds for hours as a way to clear his mind (and if he went into the forbidden forest every once in a while, headmistress mcgonagall did  _ not _ need to know), rushed to the dormitories to change out of his robes and into one of his extra sweaters that he didn’t mind getting dirty. normally, draco was alone during this time, but when he arrived to the boys dorms, he found potter sitting alone on his bed, nose stuck in a book. not only was this weird because he didn’t know potter could read, but him being alone was more strange than ever. potter was always surrounded by granger and weasley, and if not them, many of his adoring fans (which typically consisted of fourth year girls). “hello,” potter said, surprising draco. 

draco looked up, staring at potter with a blank expression which he was sure made potter believe he was mad. he didn’t respond, opting for a short, curt nod. he could feel potter’s eyes on him as he unhooked his robes, folding them and putting them in his trunk, making a mental reminder to cast a cleaning charm on them later. he grabbed a sweater, one he hasn’t worn since last year when he would hide in his room until forced to come out. looking at it sent a shiver down his spine as memories of shrieks from unsuspecting victims and voldemort's cruel, heartless laugh came flooding back. his face must have spoke for him because potter spoke up, “you alright, malfoy?” 

“hmm? oh, yes, you would do good to mind your own business,” draco said, a snooty tone that he hadn’t used in years escaping. 

“i was just asking! just because you have a wand up your arse doesn’t mean you have to talk to me that way. i did save you more than once, as i’m sure you remember!” 

draco turned around harshly to face him, the urge to pull out his wand stronger than ever, tears flooding his eyes, “don’t you think i know that, potter! don’t you think that i wake up and think about how i owe you my life's-debt! don’t you know, potter! huh?” draco was surprised by the anger and passion that was plaguing his voice, but honestly, who did potter think he was? at potter’s lack of a response was none surprising to draco. “of course you don’t potter. you’re  _ harry bloody potter, savior of the wizarding world  _ and i’m just  _ draco malfoy, a dirty scumbag who deserves life in azkaban _ . it’s your duty to save me why would you think about what it’s actually doing for me. get over yourself, harry,” and with that draco stormed out of the room, needing his daily evening walk more than ever. 

the arm was chilly and draco could feel his nose and cheeks getting red, but he couldn’t go back inside. not after the stunt that he just pulled. he was currently walking the perimeter of the black lake, missing and longing for the days where he was just a bratty little boy in the slytherin dormitories. memories of playing snogging games, and as they got older drinking games, with the boys and girls of slytherin were flooding his mind. he saw himself, age 13, being dared to kiss pansy parkinson. he remembered thinking she was pretty enough, maybe even suitable to be a malfoy should the time come, but the moment his slips pressed against hers, he  _ knew  _ it wasn’t right, knew that he didn’t want to ever experience something of the sort again. he remembered being terrified the next day, when he went to care of magical creatures, and wondered what it would be like to break the distance between himself and harry and kiss him. it was remembering this that brought draco back to reality. what made him remember just an hour ago when he yelled and unleashed pent up anger at harry. what made him realize he called him harry earlier. 

the disturbing thought, the thought that even for a quick second in the heat of the moment, that he had thought himself deserving enough to call potter by his first name, was enough to send draco running towards the forbidden forest. it was getting dark, and draco knew that he shouldn’t have gone to the forest, especially knowing that he wouldn’t be able to perform spells to protect himself should anything happen, but he didn’t care.  _ let something happen to me, who cares,  _ thought draco. 

completely unaware of the person tracking behind him, draco stepped into the forest. the sky was getting darker and he was getting colder than ever, but the shame of his outburst earlier kept him from turning around to go back inside and have to face potter. instead, draco opted to casting a lumos and warming charm, feeling better for the time being. 

draco had been walking for what seemed like minutes, but had truly been hours when he heard a ruffingly in the trees around him. doing a three-sixty, draco saw nothing suspicious and kept walking.  _ a bunny or something of the sort  _ draco disregarded. out of curiosity, draco decided to walk in the direction of the noise. 

he’d been walking for just a few minutes when his vision went dark and his body was slammed to the ground. he fought back, feeling fur and long claws scratch at his body. he was bleeding, he could feel, and his leg was aching, but he managed to throw the thing off, running from it. draco made the mistake of turning around to get a better look, slowing himself down. his heart racing, not from the running, but from a panic he hadn’t felt in months, as he realized that he was being chased down by a werewolf. as he ran, he recalled a time, many years ago, when he was sent to the forest with potter as a punishment for being out too late in the corridors. the memory seemed to be reliving itself, but in a much darker way. this time, he wasn’t simply being a scared little boy, stating reasons why he shouldn’t go into the forest. this time, he was being chased by it. he could feel himself losing his speed and balance, tripping over a tree branch, falling to the ground, giving the beast a leg up. right as the beast jumped on top of him, a figure appeared, from where, draco couldn’t say and casted a spell that sent the werewolf flying and running in the opposite direction. 

it was pitch-black out at this point, and draco couldn’t make out who the figure was, but desperate to get out of the forest, he grabbed the hand that was reached out for him. the hand was large, but slightly smaller in draco’s, and warm, and calloused. “are you okay?” a familiar voice rang out and draco sighed  _ of course potter was here and of course he had saved draco once again.  _

they’d been walking for what seemed like hours before draco finally responded, “yes, i’m okay, thank you, how much do i owe you now? what are you expecting, potter? that i bow down and kiss your feet along with everyone else? not likely. i’d be better off dead at the claws of that werewolf.” 

“you don’t owe me anything, draco. is that seriously what you think of me? i help people because it’s the right thing to do, not because i want anything back. though i assume that why you would ever help anyone,” harry responded, his voice harsh and cutting like a blade to draco’s soul near the end. he couldn’t explain why, but the thought that harry would think that about him hurt. he knew it was a reasonable assumption, and had he been harry, he would have thought the same thing, but it still caused pain to stir inside of draco. 

“you’re right, about it being the right thing, but you’re wrong about me,” draco said stiffly, though if potter was listening close enough, he could hear a pleading in draco’s voice. a pleading asking harry to see that draco did have it in him to be a good person. 

“then show me that, draco,” potter’s voice was soft and forgiving, as if he had detected the pleading. 

draco, feeling his walls coming down, stiffened, closed himself off, “you said it yourself, i don’t owe you anything. i certainly won’t be showing you anything either.”

draco heard harry sigh, but he said nothing more. draco so desperately wanted to run in front of harry and leave him, but there was something keeping him at harry’s side, and it wasn’t the burning sensation in his leg. after a while, as they neared the castle, lights shining through the windows, harry finally spoke up again, “you’re limping.” 

“great observation, potter,” he sneered, but if he were to admit, he hadn’t even noticed himself, being to caught up in thoughts of potter calling him draco, and the feeling of potter’s arm bumping into his, and honestly who potter thought he was breaking down draco’s walls. it was rude, to be frank. 

“no, seriously, everyone will be at dinner, so when we get back to the dormitories we’re taking a look at your leg,” harry said and there was something about the tone in his voice that told draco not to argue. 

ignoring that tone, draco scoffed, “and what makes you think i don’t want to go to dinner,” questioned draco. 

“draco, you never come to dinner. i’d always wondered, but i guess i know now it’s because you have a death wish and walk the forbidden forest each night,” potter tried passing it off as a joke, but if draco didn’t know any better, he would have thought he detected care in potter’s voice. 

draco didn’t answer and instead said the password to get into the eighth year common room, as they had found their way there before they even realised. no one was in the common room, at dinner as harry has suspected, so instead of draco pulling himself up the stairs, or even worse: potter carrying him up the stairs, they opted to go to the couch. they sat in silence, neither wanting to say anything first, before harry finally said something, “let me see your leg.” grudgingly, draco lifted his leg onto the couch and set it right in front of potter. potter, who apparently had no filter on his words or actions, pulled up draco’s trouser leg, a gasp escaping him as he rushed to the window. draco, confused, sat up and took a look at his leg to see a deep, bloody bite mark. from the window, potter stated the obvious, what draco was too scared to admit, “draco, it’s a full moon.” 


	5. five (perhaps i should start adding titles)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited again sorry lolz

it had been one week since the full moon and draco was avoiding potter more than ever. it was bad enough that potter knew what was coming in three weeks time, he definitely did  _ not  _ want to discuss. he supposed the time would come and he would find a way to deal with  _ it  _ on his own. perhaps he would chain himself up in the astronomy tower or perhaps the dungeons where they used to punish students by putting them in shackles or maybe he would run to the forbidden forest, live there perhaps and completely cut himself off from the wizarding world.  _ no,  _ draco shook his head to himself,  _ i could never do that to mother.  _

“malfoy! i’ve been looking for you,” a familiar voice, a voice he had been avoiding all week, rang. draco picked up his pace, trying to lose him, but his attempts were unsuccessful. “we need to talk about what happened. what are we going to do?” 

at this, draco sharply turned around, looking down at potter--who stood nearly a foot shorter than draco-- with a vile look on his, “ _ we? we,  _ potter, aren’t going to do anything about it.  _ you  _ are going to pretend you never followed me into the forest and  _ i’m  _ going to figure out what to do on my own. in fact, why were you following me? what did you think? that evil, ex- death eater draco malfoy was up to something?” 

“ _ of course  _ i didn’t think that malfoy! you may be a foul git, but i don’t think you’re evil. honestly, you’re being ridiculous. i want to help because this is extremely serious! are you going to hide it? where are you going to go every month? how are you going to control yourself? do you really want to go through this alone?” potter’s tone suggested that he had thought this through over and over again in his mind, more than draco had. why did he care so much? it was ridiculous, they had never cared for each other and the idea that potter did care about draco left a foul feeling in his stomach. 

“just leave it be, scarhead,” potter scoffed at the old nickname, “i haven’t thought about what i’m going to do and i’d rather not. now, if you could let me be. i have to get to the green house for herbology,” draco turned around with a fast stride. 

herbology went by quickly, professor sprout was showing them a plant that could be used to heal people who were hit with simply curses when boiled down and mixed with unicorn saliva. draco thought it fascinating and made a mental note to remember the plant name and the exact degree needed for it to work. while he was under the safety to minerva mconagall’s admittedly cold scold, he was certainly not safe in rest of the wizarding world of great britain. he knew that if he walked around diagon alley without a shield charm he was certain to get hit with a few curses. the people of the wizarding world were  _ not _ susceptible to forgiveness, especially when you tacked on the name malfoy. 

after herbology, he quickly made his way up to the eighth year dormitories. he needed time without the muffled sound of children talking and laughing. he needed time to let his brain think. no matter how much he tried to avoid the situation at hand, potter had a point. there was only three weeks left until the full moon and he had no idea what was going to happen. if he thought back to third year when uncle severus had made them write a paper on werewolves, he recalled that for a night, each month, they would lose all knowledge over who they were as a human and could become vicious very easily. they wouldn’t be able to distinguish between their friends and their enemies, all humans becoming a target. that was why, he supposed, he didn’t want potter to get involved. the possibility that he could hurt him, could put the wizarding worlds savior in harms way, was not a thought that draco had found appealing. 

draco, now very, very aware of his current state, jumped up from the chair and he sitting in and rushed to the library. luckily, not very many people were in the library, so he was free to look at whatever books he need. eighth years were allowed to check out books from the restricted section without permission from a professor, and draco thought that that section would be his best bet on finding a book that gave him everything he needed to know. he skimmed his way through the section that was reserved for books on magical creatures until he found a book titled “lycanthropy for wizards.” 

“come to your senses, did you?” draco jumped, almost dropping the book at the voice that came from nowhere. “i supposed you figured out that you need to be able to anticipate what’s going to happen to you?” 

draco turned to face potter, yes he was back to potter full time--  _ no harry under any circumstances, _ “what’s it to you if i did? you still have nothing to do with it. in fact, didn’t we decide that you were going to pretend you weren’t in the forest anyways? and you never told me why you were there.” 

“malfoy, you’re going to need someone to help you through this, even if it’s not me, and i was flying-- i do that to clear my mind and get away from everyone nearly everyday-- and i noticed you going into the forest alone. i mean, who does that? it’s called the forbidden forest for a reason.” potter answered and draco was taken back. why did it matter to potter if he was alone? surely it would have no impact on his life if draco were to get hurt, not unless his hero-complex hadn’t cooled down. 

“well, whatever. i could hurt you, so no, you won’t be involved no matter how much i may  _ need  _ someone,” draco responded, placing a mocking tone on the word ‘need,’ “how would it look if draco malfoy had hurt the worlds precious savior?” 

“right, well, when you get some common sense, let me know,” potter said curtly, walking away. 

draco sighed, every interaction with potter seemed to be completely draining and left draco questioning why he hated seeing potter turn and walk the other way, leaving the conversation, leaving him. shaking away the thought, draco glanced down at the book, the reason he needed it causing his heart rate to rapidly increase. upon reading the book title, the librarian looked up, his left eyebrow raised. “a personal essay for defence, extra credit,” draco lied straight through his teeth. 

the halls weren’t crowded, but by the looks of the sky, it was dinner time and everyone was in the great hall. draco took this as the perfect opportunity to start his reading. no nosey gryffindors would be in the dormitory to question draco on why he needed to read up on lycanthropy. though, when he thought about it, most of the gryffindors left draco well enough alone anyways. they never talked to him, and when they did, it was mostly just them attempting to include him to prove that they were noble. draco scoffed at the thought as he pulled off his sweater to put on his pajama shirt. it was right then that someone so graciously decided to slam open the door and join him. draco looked up to see potter standing there as awkwardly as ever, staring down. confused, draco followed where his eyes were staring. his dark mark--or what used to be his dark mark, now flowers that, in his mind, represented a blossoming new beginning. clearing his throat, harry broke the silence, “i’ll, er, i’ll let you get to it,” he said as he turned around to give draco privacy. 

draco had to stifle a laugh, “don’t be ridiculous, potter. as far as i’m aware, we’re both men.” though, if potter had known what draco had kept pushed down, draco imagined he would be disgusted by him more than what he surely already was. when potter didn’t turn around, draco disguised his laugh with a cough and put on his shirt, “it’s on now, potter, you can turn around.” 

“so, did you find a book?” potter questioned sincerely. 

“i did, not that it’s any of your business,” draco responded, surprised at the way he found himself responding to potter in a way that was reminiscent of the mocking before draco’s life did a three--sixty. 

“no matter how hard you try i’m going to pry. i don’t know why you can’t get it through your thick skull, but i’m not going to leave this alone. i won’t tell anybody, but if you don’t accept my help, i hope you’re fully to prepared to live a miserable life full of lies,” potter had overstepped the line. 

“potter, has it ever occurred to you that  _ you  _ have a thick skull. has it every occurred to you that i already am living a miserable life with secrets? you think you’re so bloody brilliant, but you know nothing about me except for what you think,” draco said and he could feel his chest rapidly rising and falling as his breath quickened with his anger. 

“you’re right, i don’t know you, but i do know a place that would help you, and i know ways that would make you less alone in this,” potter said hinting at something, and though draco didn’t want to admit it, it peaked his interest. 

draco looked up at him, wanting to give him. he knew he didn’t deserve potters help, and he knew it didn’t want it in the first place, but he also knew that harry had a point, that this was going to be difficult. “i may be interested, but i don’t get why you want to help me in the first place, you said it yourself i’m a foul git. what’s in it for you?” 

potter smirked, presumably knowing that he was winning this battle, “i want to help because no one deserves to go through this alone. because i knew a werewolf, who didn’t have to go through it alone, but wouldn’t have been able to go through it alone. he was very close to me. he’s gone now, but i suppose helping you would be a way of honoring him.” 

the gears were turning in draco’s head and he spoke it aloud before he even made the connection in his mind, “lupin.” 

potter nodded his head, looking down solemnly at the comforter draped over his bed. “he was just a boy when he was bitten. my father, sirius, and peter pettigrew,” his voice was illuminated with hate as he said peter’s name, “they, uh, they became animagi so that they could join him whenever he had to sneak off to the shrieking shack, it was him, did you know? he’d go to the shrieking shack every month to transform. it was him the villagers heard. anyways, i was thinking that perhaps we could do the same thing. of course, it’ll take me a while to become one, and i won’t be able to register for obvious reasons, but…” potter trailed off. draco could feel a bubbling feeling in his chest. harry,  _ potter,  _ was obviously sincere about what he was saying, and the fact that he was willing to do something so illegal for draco, his enemy since age eleven, caused draco’s heart to race and his palms to sweat viciously.  _ no,  _ draco thought,  _ this is potter, no crushes allowed, no affection allowed, not even a friendship.  _ this, however, wasn’t enough to calm his heart rate. 

“potter, that’s absurd. i get it, why you feel like you have to do this, but don’t do it for me. if you get caught--” draco was cut off. 

“ _ if,  _ i get caught, well, that’s my fault,” potter was so fucking noble, it was driving draco crazy. 

“fine, but you have to promise to stop. to abandon me if there’s any sign of suspicion,” draco resided. 

“i’m not going to abandon you, don’t be ridiculous, malfoy,” there was draco’s heart rate again. 

“it’s not like i wouldn’t deserve it,” draco said, facing away from potter. 

“i already told you that you don’t get to decide that,” harry,  _ potter _ , said and draco had to refrain from rolling his eyes. 

\---

  
  


they spent the next three weeks in the library, draco reading books on the effects of the bite, how to control it, what to expect going into his first month and harry, draco had long since gave up on surname only, was researching the process of becoming an animagus. they knew that harry wouldn’t be able to achieve it by the first month, he had hardly started the process, but he was still planning on coming with draco to the shrieking shack. “i already told you no, potter,” draco said, harshly turning around to face harry in the long aisle of books in the library. 

“and i told you i don’t care,” harry always responded, “you need someone there to keep you grounded. i’m not scared of you, draco,”  _ draco, draco, draco  _ his name rang like church bells in draco’s ears whenever harry said it, and his mouth going dry. 

finally, the day came. draco and harry spent the entire afternoon going over what harry would do under the circumstance that draco would attack him, going over rooms in the shrieking shack, and talking about what they would do if harry was unsuccessful in keeping draco away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me when i force this out of my ass because i forgot until seven at night (my bedtime, honestly) 
> 
> I have to go back to school soon, so updates may be slower, idk
> 
> mwah ily.

**Author's Note:**

> chapter one: finished.
> 
> i know it's kind of short, but it's more of an introduction. don't worry about the lack of draco and harry, there's going to be more next chapter! 
> 
> mwah love u


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